The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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