hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
