Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
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Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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