I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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