i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
