Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
