I smell stomach acid.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize
