Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize