The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
