So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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