im drinking this country out of the recession.
too bad you live with your parents still
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
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3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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