well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
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