I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
