why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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