WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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