my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Randomize
