that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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