i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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