Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Randomize
