Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize