Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
