Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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