You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
