Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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