I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
