I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
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Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
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I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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