How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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