Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
