She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
