then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
