haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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