so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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