just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
This toilet bowl is my home.
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