is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
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