You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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