They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Hippo gnu deer
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
