Dual....:-)
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
