Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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