Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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