I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
