Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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