thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize