before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize