i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
