dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Randomize
