Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Randomize
