I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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