What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I would fuck him just for his dog
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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