my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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