I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
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