your parents love me but you hate me
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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