My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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