remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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