Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
